National Coming Out Day: A Story


I’ve been wanting to re-start this blog again for a while, and given that it’s National Coming Out Day and that my creative juices are once again stirring and that I can sit down and control my ADD long enough to a thought into words, this seemed like the perfect opportunity.

It’s Canadian Thanksgiving. It’s National Coming Out Day. One is a reminder of our colonial past (and present) and the other celebrates diversity and equality of any kind, in all forms. Today is a day about acceptance, tolerance and diversity.

My closest friends are gay or lesbian and I have many others that cover the gamut of the LGBTQIIAA++ spectrum and fall somewhere between a 2-5 on the Kinsey Scale. And I love every single one of them. But before we can love each other, we have to learn to love ourselves, both as a society and each as individuals. This is something that has been a constant and ongoing struggle for many of my friends, myself included.

Sexuality is a complex and often evolving process. To refer back to the Kinsey scale, no one is a 0, no one is a 6; we are all somewhere in the middle. Like so many out there, my own journey has been a long one.

For a while now, if people are so inclined to ask, I’ve been apt to reply that I am pansexual. But in many ways even that feels like a cop out and doesn’t ring true. Because even within that identity, there are many others that lie under the surface. I’ve tried saying hetero-romantic or hetero-exclusive pansexual but in a way I feel that gives credence to heteronormativity and demeans many of my non-brinary friends.

Bi-sexual is out because that automatically places cisgender restrictions on attraction. Am I a hetero-romantic, cis-exclusive pansexual? Is that even a thing?

So who, or what exactly am I coming out as? Coming out for? I am coming out for all those who have come (out) before me, who souls have been braver than mine. I am coming out for the thousands of teens who have been kicked out of their homes and families and being victimized for it just because of who they are. I am coming out so that the bullies will have someone to answer to, when they senselessly attack a friend’s identity for no reason other than their own insecurity.

I am coming out a member of the LGBTQ++ community, even if I can’t put an exact finger on what that idea that is. Yes I am pan. Yes I am poly. But there’s more to it than that. Finally, and I think most importantly, I am coming out LIBERATED. I hope you all are as well.

Celebrate your identity

Note: This post has removed all reference to the Canadian election and Canadian political system, in an effort to be as wide-reaching as possible. For the full version go here:

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