Files From The Danger Zone #1: Holding Out Is Hard To Do

Well, it is known to most that I am a giant nerd – this includes having a flying TARDIS poster as well as one of Archer – and my friends and acquaintances always tell me that I know strange facts about everything. So, I decided to review one of my favourite shows – the aforementioned Archer – for its 6th season, which premiered last night. Here we go: (Contains spoilers)

It’s been six weeks since Archer found out that he was Lana’s baby’s daddy and he has been on a snake-whiskey and Asian ladyboy bender ever since. Cyril, meanwhile just found out the parentage and raises a snit like only Cyril can. Post-cocaine Pam has regained all her fat, which was previously removed due to drug-induced weight loss, and together with Cheryl has redecorated the place, restoring the headquarters to the pre-CIA look; the only addition being Milton, a mobile copying machine that makes toast. And Malory, well Malory is the still Queen “Capital B” Bitch. Oh yeah, for obvious reasons they are no longer ISIS and are now independent contractors with the CIA.

As punishment for his shirking of parental responsibilities, Archer is tasked with heading into the jungle – what else is new – to retrieve a lost tape. After lamenting that his cargo plane doesn’t have booze – the pilot as it turns out is in a 12-step – he is unceremoniously dumped in the rainforest. There he meets Kintaru Sato, an elderly Japanese soldier who has been on the island since 1942 and doesn’t believe that the war is over. Now having his own Hiroo Onoda to contend with, Archer tries to correct the man’s assertions about communism, before falling into a snake trap and then getting drunk and stoned off his painkillers and Japanese liquor. Or as he refers to it as, “Mike And Vikes”.

Meanwhile, back at the office Malory is recovering from the sameness of everything, while Lana can’t believe that the ladies didn’t have the decency to remove the blood on the carpet. It’s not Brett’s, they had fudge it a little. Hey, wait a minute where’s Krieger? Just as that thought was running through my head, Pam enters a storage closet, pops herself in front a facial recognition scanner and opens a secret, sliding door. She starts babbling to a hot tub, then you realize that Krieger is in the tub with a drink. Or is it Krieger? Who survived the explosion? Anyway, Pam gets naked and the scene fades away and returns to Archer and the faux POW in the jungle.

Archer awakes to find that Sato has hijacked his PDA and is discovering the news footage about the end of the war, confirming his distrust of Americans. Before Archer can say anything, they find themselves under enemy fire. Clumsy Sterling falls and forgets to blow up the plane he was supposed. Sato, suddenly at peace with the end of the war, returns, explodes the plane and carries a wounded-but-probably-faking-because-he-has-mommy-issues Archer, who directs Sato to head for the beach, which he believes to be the “Extraction point”.

Turns out he was right again. Archer begs Sato to come with him, but Sato declines, accepting his fate on the island. Archer feeling repentance for being a shitty dad and a possible thank you to Sato for saving his life and healing his wounds, tracks down his long-lost wife and daughter and then fires at the rescue boat as he declares that they “need a moment”. Of course Archer makes it back safe and sound, to the shock of Malory and Lana.

While I enjoyed this episode, it was by no means the strongest Archer story. In terms of plot, it was relatively simple and lacked originality – I mean how many times can they put Archer in a jungle and have him talk his way out of it while everybody else does all the work? Though, the tribute? to an esoteric, dated and recently deceased (at the time the episode was produced) pop culture figure was classic Archer. Also, I loved the possible Kreiger-Pam storyline and the addition of Milton. If it’s discovered that Milton can talk, he should be voiced by Stephen Root. Or at least give him a red Stapler.

Below is an interview I had with Lucky Yates – who voices Kreiger – last year:

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